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Why I Changed My Mind About Jazz

In the move from 6th to 7th grade we were asked to pick between Art and Band. Those were the only two options. The rest of our six classes were chosen for us. Choosing band meant that for weeks during the summer we had to show up in the morning for practices, after picking an instrument to play, having the parents get it, and promising for several days at a time that, through thick and thin that the instrument would be safe.

Depending on the instrument the monthly bill could be between $8 and $55 a month for two to five years. If you’ve never looked at buying an instrument it can be really expensive, especially a brass instrument, for instance: [a nice trombone](http://www.musiciansfriend.com/brass-instruments/king-2102-2b-legend-series-trombone) is the price of a new iMac. Unlike an iMac you can’t just sit down and use the trombone, it takes hours of practice in order to be able to play anything that even resembles music. With all that in mind; I chose band and the drums. Drums only required the purchase of a pair of drum sticks $10 – $20. My rationale was, that, if I didn’t like it I could just quit and not be out tons of money or work.

Living in a small town in Utah meant that there weren’t very many radio stations and that there wasn’t a place to buy music of any kind less than 50 miles away. Sure I could download and pirate as much music as I wanted, provided I did it at school and had some way to get it home. (I didn’t have Internet in my house until after I was ~18. The only reason we got a connection then was because my Mother started a bookkeeping job that required Internet.) Keep in mind this was the early 2000s and Napster was just getting going heavily and no one had been sued, yet.

Since I couldn’t get music on my own I recruited a couple friends to get music from their Internet connections at home and burn me CDs. Starting out with Metallica and being influenced heavily by my older friends moved on quickly to Slipknot. I’d already had a solid background in Rap music from the many field trips I’d taken during Elementary school with some of my friends who’d moved in from Salt Lake City/West Valley so this was an entirely new direction, musically, for me.

Fast forward a year or two and I’m still in band and still playing music (a specific amount of Art credits are required to graduate high school), primarily jazz music. I hated it. Most of the songs were heavily influenced by our small brass section and large woodwind section. We had two trombones, three trumpets, three saxophones and seven clarinets. One of the trombone players was actually good but the other was only mediocre. Since we had the weak brass section we had to play songs that could make use of all seven clarinets and the four saxophones. I like saxophone music but not that much. That was my first real taste of jazz music.

Since that time I periodically heard Jazz music on the radio listening to those random radio stations that one can only find after Midnight on weekdays and while it was OK it was never good. The drums were repetitive and boring, the saxophone was playing the whole fucking song, and there was a quiet progressive bass line playing. So I’d change the station back to whatever trite nonsense was on the “hit” radio station and listen to that.

In high school itself my musical interests went from Metallica and Slipknot into the deeper ends of metal: black metal, death metal, power metal, and symphonic death metal. On a normal day you could find a mixed CD in my CD player (remember those?) with tracks from Iced Earth, Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir, Demons and Wizards, Opeth, Rammstein, Therion, and any number of other northern european bands that you can’t pronounce. My interests stayed in this realm for the entirety of high school. I still listened to the rap music I had listen to when I was in elementary – junior high but not as frequently. In order to graduate early I decided that I was going to take “Early Morning Band”. Morning band happened every day at 6:30 a.m. And the percussion department was full, I’d have to learn to play another instrument in order to take the class. I chose Trombone, not because I liked it but because I hated Woodwinds. The band teacher had changed from the year previous so we had a new guy who played some weird instrument, a [cornet](http://www.musiciansfriend.com/brass-instruments/getzen-800-eterna-series-bb-cornet/463747), that we’d never heard of before and the guitar.

This band teacher was a lot different from our previous band teacher, he was kind of a dick, his wife was hot — most of the band loved when she stopped by, and he didn’t really give a fuck. He was much to worried about his own band that was about 2 hours away and just needed something to pay the bills while he started lining up gigs. I was able to get away with playing as one of two members of the trombone section (the other being the mediocre player mentioned above) without ever actually learning any of the songs. Sure I practiced really hard over the summer to be able to actually play, when I saw he didn’t give a fuck if I did or didn’t, I didn’t.

I got a whole credit out of the class before deciding that I was tired of waking up at 5:30 a.m. I was tired of catching the bus to school at 6:05 a.m. I was tired of not playing an instrument that I didn’t want to play and tired of the teacher, so, I decided I wasn’t going to do it again and passed the trombone down to my brother. I never had to play in front of anyone because I worked in the booth during the productions.

In my Junior year I found myself with half an art credit too few for graduation the next year so I did the only sane thing I could: I persuaded the band teacher (a new one since the dick was fired or left, whatever), administration, and advisor that if I were to follow the band teacher around doing technical stuff for him during that hour he would consider me enrolled in “Show Choir” which would fulfill my art credit so I could graduate. Anyone reading this that has known me for very long is likely laughing so hard his/her sides are about to split just imagining me in Show Choir.

Everyday I showed up at show choir, played around with the nice Roland recording equipment that the band had acquired from a bygone band teacher who thought it was must have, for about two weeks anyway. After the two weeks I decided that just singing for an hour would be more enjoyable so I asked the band teacher if I would be able to actually join the group (they had auditions and not everyone got in if they signed up) and after making sure I could match pitch and feel rhythm, he agreed. At this point we were preparing for the Christmas concert that the school puts on each year, so I showed up to class and sang Christmas songs for an hour a day now instead of playing with recording equipment.

I, much like Richard Dawkins, quite enjoy Christmas songs despite their religious tones so the class wasn’t as horrific as it could have been (It wasn’t an episode of Glee). Moving up to the concert I even had an out so I wouldn’t have to sing in front of people, I ran the light and sound booth with a couple of my friends. Anyone who has worked in a booth during a production of anything knows how hectic it can be but I still left minutes before we went on and joined up with the rest of the choir. We totally killed it. We were awesome. Numerous people congratulated us on how well we did after the concert was over. I’m not taking any of the credit for that but for the part I played in the whole.

This band teacher had quite an effect on me. Since I was part of the crew who ran the Booth we worked together on the school musical, practices for the concerts in my auditorium, and at numerous other occasions. It was the first time in my life I’d ever met someone who was so blatantly good at music. He had perfect pitch, he could just look at a note on a page and sing it or play it on a number of instruments. The first couple times I heard him yell from the booth, to the stage that the note the lead role was singing was the wrong note, it was something when it should have been an ‘A’ and then demonstrated, I laughed. I thought he was just trying to make himself seem useful. He wasn’t. He actually could hear the difference and without any warning or warm-up just sing it.

I’d heard of perfect pitch and dismissed it as people who seemed really good at something to people who didn’t know the difference. It’s real. It’s fucking unbelievable. I’ve you’ve never seen/heard anyone who has perfect pitch I suggest you find someone and pay for one lesson just to see/hear it for yourself. Having him there meant that our musical was great. It was definitely one of the best I’ve ever seen come from my high school. One day I asked him what music he listened to, I figured that since he was so good at it himself he’d have pretty high expectations and thus listen to some pretty good music. He told me that he really didn’t listen to much music because he found things about almost every song that bugged him. When he did listen to music it was usually Jazz, Alternative, or something similar.

Since I didn’t listen to that type of music I really didn’t even know what Alternative, as a genre, was. The Disney Tarzan movie had come out a year or two before this conversation and I remember sitting through the “Making of” Tarzan so I had heard that Phil Collins was one of the main people behind it, so I mentioned him. The band teacher didn’t like his music (I think his voice is too “tinny”). Finally I pushed him for some band names, thinking I’d download them and see what was so good about them. He gave me the name Oingo Boingo.

I thought that was a weird name so I didn’t bother until about a year later when I was living in Portland, OR with nothing to do and bored of all of my music. I got ahold of some Oingo Boingo and my first thoughts were that it was total shit. I listened to it on and off for a couple weeks and suddenly I started to really enjoy it. The lyrics were awesome, it had a full band, guitars, drums, and entire exotic percussion sections on some songs. Pandora came out around this time so I fed Oingo Boingo into Pandora and listened to similar artists. This is where I discovered Depeche Mode, Huey Lewis and the News (again, first time was, of course, American Psycho), The Fixx, and numerous other ‘80s bands that I found I really enjoyed.
Around this time I started watching Anime seriously (that phase only lasted a couple months), one of the first Anime shows I ever watched was “Cowboy Bebop”. I watched the entire series over a day and night, for those of you who don’t know most of the episodes use music terms and almost all the music in all of the episodes is Jazz. And I loved it. The music from “Cowboy Bebop” was wonderful. Sure there was still saxophone in the songs but it wasn’t as awful as it used to be.

A few years pass.

I love Musicals. Yeah, yeah, make your jokes and laugh but I still like musicals. When I first started seeing commercials for Glee I thought it would be good. I watched season 1, then season 2, and grudgingly season 3. There was nothing else to watch and I only liked the music bits, the high school drama shit is fucking retarded. I went to high school I thought it was dumb then, no way in hell do I want to watch that shit recreationally. I was on the prowl for new shows to watch and “True Blood” came up so I decided to give it a chance. The show was OK but I really enjoyed the music from the show so I started looking for more shows like it. I didn’t find much. I watched “Black Snake Moan” when searching for southern movies and the blues music in it was fantastic. I got the soundtrack, something I hadn’t done since The Matrix.

This brings us to the present. A couple weeks ago, on a tweet from Anthony Bourdain (http://twitter.com/#!/noreservations, May 30th, and fuck Twitter’s shitty search and un-linkable tweets) I took a look at Treme. I didn’t watch it at first, I saw that it was about New Orleans after the storm and since I didn’t know much about what had actually happened there I decided I’d add it to my Netflix queue and see if it was good when it got here.

It was fantastic, glorious even. The entire show, with all of the wreckage and ruined lives is still full of music and dancing. The idea of a second line after a funeral was intriguing. The idea of a second line, itself, was something that I never would have thought of. Where I’m from we have parades on July 4th, 24th (Utah’s birthday), maybe Thanksgiving, and maybe Christmas. The entire concept was so foreign to me. I couldn’t wait for the next disc to arrive. I watched the whole first season in a week and I enjoyed every episode. The thing about Treme is it is full of Jazz, something, as you can probably tell, I’ve hated for a long time. I’ve hated jazz since 2 − 3 years before Katrina hit New Orleans.

This Jazz is different. It’s something more than all the jazz I’ve heard previously. This jazz makes extensive use of the trombone, trumpets, and other brass instruments it isn’t just a saxophone playing with shitty drums in the back. (I really like the trombone’s sound, that’s why I picked it as my instrument when moving to morning band.) It’s so much different, so much better. I can sit and listen to this jazz for hours without being bored and changing the station. It’s dynamic, one of the things I’ve always loved about metal. To be fair it isn’t all Jazz, there’s some funk, big band, bounce, and ten other genres I’ve never heard of, but it is all New Orleans.

I’ve changed my mind about Jazz music because of Treme, it’s showed me that there is a lot more to Jazz than just the saxophone and shitty drums. There’s a whole other side to the genre that doesn’t suck. I tried, yesterday, to listen to jazz on the radio with my new found appreciation for the whole genre and it was exactly what I remembered from all those years ago. Total shit. To correct myself here, I’ll say that I changed my mind about jazz as long as it is New Orleans jazz; anything else just won’t cut it.

Republicans and Socialism

>In the U.S.A. Homeless go without eating.

>In the U.S.A. Elderly go without needed medicines.

>In the U.S.A. Mentally ill go without treatment.

>In the U.S.A. Troops go without proper equipment.

>In the U.S.A. Veterans go without benefits they were promised.

>Yet we donate billions to other countries before helping our own first. Have the guts to re-post this. 1% will re-post and 99% Won’t have the Guts

I’ve been seeing this message posted around on Facebook and other social networking sites quite often over the last month. Rather than replying to each message and falling for the [someone is wrong on the Internet](http://xkcd.com/386/) trap I’m just going to passive aggressively write about it on my blog.

I’ve also noted that all of the people who do post this hate Obama, are Republicans, and say they are Christians of some variety. That has to cause a lot of internal conflict. Whining that we don’t provide enough social programs while you and your party vote against them, seeing people in need and not helping them when your religion says you should, and telling everyone that they are too “chicken” to repost the same thing doesn’t seem very Jesus-like.

Don’t worry, I know you are just posting this because all of your friends posted it and it seemed like a good idea at the time. I know you aren’t really that dumb; that you don’t actually vote with your party AGAINST the very things you think are wrong with this country. I know that you actually fact-checked it and thought it would be ironic if you changed your political affiliations to Republican and religious views to Christian before posting this; I know I would.

>In the U.S.A. Homeless go without eating.

Yes, that’s right, because having homeless shelters and other social programs to help homeless people is SOCIALISM.

>In the U.S.A. Elderly go without needed medicines.

Yep, that’s because having a Government run healthcare system that can care for them and pay for their medicines is SOCIALISM.

>In the U.S.A. Mentally ill go without treatment.

Hm, this still falls under the Government run healthcare system but we can’t have that because it is SOCIALISM.
>In the U.S.A. Troops go without proper equipment.

It’s been 10 years (almost) since we started the war so I’m kind of fuzzy on exactly why we didn’t have proper equipment but I’m pretty sure it had something to do with a Republican President deciding that we needed to go to war NOW…then after we’d just started that war, decided that we needed to invade ANOTHER country so there wasn’t enough equipment to go around.

>In the U.S.A. Veterans go without benefits they were promised.

Here we are with that Government run healthcare thing again, which is exactly what the Veteran’s (VA) hospitals are. I’ve not met any Veterans that haven’t received the benefits that they were promised so I cannot fully comment on this one, however, as I’ve noted hospitals that deal especially with Veterans are Government run. That means they come from SOCIALISM.

>Yet we donate billions to other countries before helping our own first. Have the guts to re-post this. 1% will re-post and 99% Won’t have the Guts

We do donate billions to other countries, we also spend billions of dollars a month fighting those 2 wars that that one Republican President started. Think about just how much a billion dollars is, hint: it is a metric fuck load of money, from [CostofWar.com](http://costofwar.com/en/) you can see how much we’ve spent already, now look at how much [1 trillion dollars is](http://www.pagetutor.com/trillion/index.html).

We do help our own country first, we spend a substantial portion of the country’s budget on programs like Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare, Pensions, and Welfare, which are all used to help the people mentioned above and SOCIALISM. Take a look at the [proposed](http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/newsgraphics/2011/0119-budget/index.html) [budget](http://www.usgovernmentspending.com/budget_pie_gs.php).

Also, note that these programs are paid for from your [FICA](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_Insurance_Contributions_Act_tax) taxes (Social Security and Medicare). Note that the amount we’ve spent on the war already is more than the amount that we need to run [Health and Human Services](http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/newsgraphics/2011/0119-budget/index.html) for an entire year. Another side note, if the FICA tax increased by the amount each American spends on private health care (while working for a Corporation who meets employees half way on the premiums, for those of you who work for yourselves you know just how much money you have to spend on health care each month without a Corporation to match it) Government run health care would be possible.

I know I’m glad we hate that evil SOCIALISM so much, it would be RETARDED (see what I did there) to let poor people who can’t afford health care have it. Also, why should my tax dollars go to pay for some homeless person’s frost bite? It’s not like I made him homeless, that’s his own damn fault.

Don’t even get me started on old people, they are old, they’ve lived a long time, they’ll probably die soon why should I pay for them to have health care? Everyone knows that old people have all sorts of diseases and expensive medicines, I don’t want to pay for that. Wait, what? So what if these old people helped stop Hitler, or helped keep South Korea its own country, or built the companies that we are working for now? What have they done for me lately? Nothing but take my FICA taxes, that’s what.

The Military is evil because they are the product of SOCIALISM. I don’t know of a single corporation in the world that could actually staff a standing military with the equipment/personnel our Government can. Even the major ones that are “armies” Xe (Blackwater) and Haliburton don’t have any where near the amount of money it takes to run an actual armed force or provide national defense. The Military is completely funded by the people and tax dollars, SOCIALISM, kind of like public schools, SOCIALISM, first time home buyer loans, SOCIALISM, college grants, SOCIALISM, public fireworks, SOCIALISM, public roads including Interstate highways, SOCIALISM, state parks, SOCIALISM, national parks, SOCIALISM, city parks, SOCIALISM, almost all infrastructure, SOCIALISM, and Libraries, SOCIALISM. See how that evil socialism sneaks its way into everything you ever liked?

So, America, let’s get rid of this shitty socialism thing that has crippled our nation for so long. We don’t need it!

Mashed Potatoes, the right way.

I tweeted on Thanskgiving “If your potatoes need gravy UR DOIN IT WRONG” so I wanted to follow it up with how to DO IT RIGHT.

The recipe, serves about 5 people:

  • 7 – 10 washed potatoes, skin on or peeled
  • 1 saucepan for the cream mix
  • 1 large pot  for boiling the potatoes
  • 1 pint of heavy whipping cream
  • 1 stick of butter (1/4 pound)
  • Salt
  • White Pepper
  • 1 pinch of Nutmeg

Boil the potatoes until a fork can go almost through a potato and come out cleanly (if you cut the potatoes before boiling use the largest piece). Before the potatoes are able to pass the fork test, approximately 5 minutes before they are ready, combine the heavy whipping cream and the cube of butter in the sauce pan. Heat until the butter is melted. Drain the potatoes making sure to get all of the water out.

Begin to mash the potatoes (keep in mind mashing for too long or using an egg beater will break down the starches resulting in runny potatoes), once the potatoes are broken up, most of the potatoes still retain shape, pour about half of the melted butter, cream mixture into the potatoes. Mash until your potatoes reach the desired consistency resist the urge to use anything but a hand masher…in fact, I use a fork to better control the consistency of the mashed potatoes. If all of the mixture is not completely used, add to taste or put it to the side to add before refrigerating leftovers (make sure to mix thoroughly, the cold will make the starches contract absorbing lots of the moisture).

Add about 1 tsp of salt and 1/2 tsp of the white pepper, stir to distribute. Finally add a pinch of nutmeg, stir and serve.

Your potatoes should not need any gravy since you DID IT RIGHT.

The Road

THE ROAD

It stretches,

miles into nothing

A single point,

of tar and gravel

pulled into one tiny point

in the future

Since the tires,

Pull, like a treadmill

I sometimes wonder

how the men working

stay in the same place…or if they do?

The sun is hot,

as it filters through

the closed windows

the sky fades,

to orange

The moon is cold,

as it chills the glass

the sky turns,

black

The future becomes

the present

Nothing constricts

The tar and gravel

are pushed into

the present

Aching muscles

call my bed

the things

can wait

I am home

Introduction

I like to work. I have had a job continuously since I was 12. It started with the family and their farm and them moved on to the food service industry. I worked as a dishwasher at a Mexican Restaurant in Beaver for 4 years before moving on to work full time at a truck stop doing the graveyard “thing”.
Currently I work at Convergys as an Associate Trainer, I work upwards of 50 hours per week and I go to school full time. I have been in my position as a trainer since October of last year, making this coming month my 1 year anniversary.

Lizard Lunging, Venture #2

A lizard is lunging back and forward on a rock. It has been years since I have seen a lizard, what a subtle un-looked-for surprise. Just sitting here watching the jerky movements that he makes as he looks for the shadiest place under the sage brush to lay.
Ever warily, he scans, right to left and back. He quickly moves under a branch of the bush when I shift sitting positions. Seeing him there, hiding, in the bushes takes me back to long days in the summer when I was a child.
As child I loved the outdoors one of my favorite past times was spending long hours riding my bicycle with my friend to his farm. The heat swept over me then as it does now, sweating long hours up to the farm 3 miles away. Some days we would get lucky and get to take his Dad’s four wheeler.
Once we were at the farm there was always a contest to see who could catch the most lizards without losing any pieces. As any lizard expert knows, they throw their tails when they are frightened to trick their predators. We, being bright children, were only tricked a couple of times.
The lizard moves back to a hole in the brush allowing me a better visual, I snap back. Things have changed, I no longer enjoy being outside the heat irritates me and reminds me of things I could be doing back in civilization.
I am surprised that my eyes are still sharp enough to, without glasses, see a lizard in the brush.

My Window to the World

The dense undergrowth covers the bottom of the sign. The uneven ground is littered with boulder size rocks, that press the foliage higher and higher in its never ending climb towards the sky. The sign is on the side of a great brick fortress that seems to grow in straight orangish, red lines from the rocky, uneven ground. The tree branches hang past the top of my window obscuring the sign even further so that there is just enough visibility to read “General Classrooms”.